Hiatus in the kitchen
So the pots and pans are packed away, and the stove is turned off.
I didn’t want to close EaLC down permanently, but with too many things going in my writing life, and having to concentrate on generating income through that, I don’t want to keep stringing you along either.
I’ve decided to take a break officially, and get some juice back without feeling guilty about it.
So Erotica a la Carte is on hiatus for a year. Giving myself a break, but not putting the site away for good makes me feel more honest. I need ideas to percolate, and find fresh ingredients to bring to you.
You’re a wonderful audience, so I hope you’ll be ready for new stories later in 2013. Thank you for listening and for going on this journey with me. Hope to you will find me again in September 2013.
In the meantime I would suggest for your erotica needs you might want to listen to Nobilis Erotica
Posted by admin on March 22nd, 2012 filed in NewsComment now »
Erotica a la Carte: Iron Chef
Some news on the Erotica a la Carte front from Nobilis Reed.
“Erotica a la Carte: Iron Chef” is a competition that has been held for the past two years at Balticon. It was emceed by the original mistress of “Erotica a la Carte” herself, Philippa Ballantine, and her lovely husband Tee Morris. For the first two years, the competition was between myself, Helen E H Madden, and Jhada Addams. But this year, we are going to open the competition up. Three preliminary rounds will be held before the main event.
The first will be held at Marscon, in Williamsburg, VA on Saturday, January 19th. The second round will be held at Farpoint, which is held February 15-17 in Timonium, MD (exact date to be decided). The last preliminary round will be held at Balticon itself, on Friday, May 24. Each preliminary round will produce one winner, plus one runner-up if there are more than two contestants. The winners (or their runners-up if the winner is unable to attend) will compete on Sunday, May 26th for the grand prize: the coveted Golden Artichoke.
The rules are quite simple: Competitors are given a secret ingredient, and twenty minutes to write a piece of smutty flash fiction using their ingredient. When the time is up, stories are read aloud. Winners are judged by audience acclamation. Competitors will be expected to bring some sort of device to write with, whether that’s a pad and paper, smartphone, or laptop.
If you will be attending Balticon, and you’d like to have a shot at competing in this fun and exhilarating contest, email me at authornobilis@gmail.com and indicate which session you would like to attend.
These events have been great fun (and solidly attended) for the past few years, and I hope that we’ll have even more fun with these events this year.
And here is the promo for the event. Hope to see what saucy stuff you can get up to!
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The Second Golden Artichoke
Held over Memorial Weekend, Balticon has one of the strongest podcast author attendences of any convention. It has also become the home of the Golden Artichoke Awards. 
Last year the secret ingredient in the Erotica a la Carte Iron Chef competition was an artichoke—hence the name. Unfortunately that inaugural competition was lost to the ages, but the microphones were rolling for the second annual event in May 2012. Before a live studio audience, the fun and games began.
The competitors in 2012 were the same as in 2011; Nobilis Reed, Helen E H Madden and Jhada Addams.
Listen as the secret ingredient is revealed, and the talented authors spend a very limited time writing their stories. It’s almost like being there…
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The Polidori Awards
It is with genuine delight that I can announce that Erotica a la Carte has won a Polidori Award.
The story, Loves to be Loved has won best vampire erotica.
The tale of vampires, succubi and disco is one of my personal favourites, and it is nice to know that others have enjoyed it too.
Thanks for all those that voted, and don’t worry, we undoubtedly will have some more fangs in future episodes.
You can listen to the announcement here
Posted by admin on March 26th, 2012 filed in NewsComment now »
Menu #31
Here are the four images to vote on this month
If you cannot view the above survey then please go here
Posted by admin on March 19th, 2012 filed in The MenusComment now »
Waiting for Spring
After the Second World War the land and the men need healing. Horace Rainer heads to the country for some bird watching, but finds an ancient tradition that will not let him sit on the sidelines.
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A Captain and Her Ship
Captain Clementine Fowler is about to get everything she has ever dreamed of—but something aboard her airship has plans of its own.
4 Comments »
Rebirth
Rebirth by Val Griswold-Ford
Callisto lives in a world ripped apart by war and magic, but a mysterious stranger has been whispering to her of salvation. If she can only trust him. If she can only find a way to him and heal a world.
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Sacrifical Love
Celeste has a gift, a gift of seeing past lives. She is called to an archaeological dig and begins to have strange dreams, but not all is as it seems. Love and lust are calling to her across time, can she find a way back to them?
By Chef Silence and with voicework by Veronica Giguere
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Waiting for the Day
A deal. A deadline. A king going to his death, but surprises still lie in store for both of the parties.
Promo
Helen EH Madden’s Heatflash
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Chef’s special- Balticon delights
This weeks stories were presented at Balticon 45 and were written by three talented erotica writers.
Also in the audience was the talented Tigerwong, who drew this while the writers wrote.
It was an amazing event, that we hope to repeat at next years Balticon!
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Catch of the Day
Look down into the water and imagine the wonders there. Some of those wonders though may be looking back…
Promos
The novel Geist by Philippa Ballantine
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Huggers
This episode is dedicated to Phil Rossi- I hope he enjoys the chef’s take on trees.
Loneliness is a strange companion for a biologist on a distant planet. But what happened to Helen’s predecessor? And is she really alone on Pelorus?
Next story water/three people/fantasy/ 1st person POV by PJ Ballantine
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Caged
A cat with a plan discovers that not all is as it seems- not just her.
Written by Kimi Alexandre
Voicework by Kim the Comicboook Goddess, Brian Brown, Sam Chupp, Podcasting’s Rich Sigfrid
Audio Production via Terry Mixon
Promos
Next month: female/ transgender/ world of trees by P J Ballantine
2 Comments »
The Will of the Gods
Xia is on a mission from her Goddess- a mission that will take her right into the heart of enemy territory. Sex, danger and faith combine in one heady night.
Written by Terry Mixon
Including voicework by Kimi Alexandre, Ryan E Stevenson, James Durham, Justin Macumber, Donna Mixon and Terry Mixon
Promos
Next month Dark fantasy/Genetic experimentation/Public sex by Kimi Alexandre
6 Comments »
Princess Interrupted
Snow is a fairy-tale princess out of her element. Then in a bar that none of her kind should ever enter, she meets a man… or is he a prince?
Promo
Coming in June a story from Terry Mixon
1 Comment »
Your chef on your iPad/iPhone
Erotica a la Carte started as an experiment and has become so much more.
I’ve been looking for new ways to bring you content and have been working with the folks at Wizard over the last month.
So I can now tell you that Erotica a la Carte the iphone/ipad app is now available. This means you won’t miss an episode and you’ll be able to access exclusive content. This could be pdfs of the stories, blooper reels and wallpapers. No one else will be getting these.
Thanks again for your support- you are what keeps the kitchen running.
Posted by admin on June 3rd, 2010 filed in News2 Comments »
Dagger of the Mind
Warning- this is horror erotica. The darkness of this story may not be for everyone. The steak is served bloody, so it’s not for children either.
Something terrible is in Anna’s mind. Something alien that uses desire as a whip, but is it trying to drive her mad or is something even more nefarious going on?
By Tee Morris with voicework by Starla Huchton and Philippa Ballantine
Promo: Bird House Rules
Next Michelle Bekemeyer is in the kitchen
6 Comments »
A Study in Pleasure
A grad student takes on a plum job in a museum- but this requires so much more than taking notes and getting her boss coffee.
By Starla Huchton with voicework by Philippa Ballantine and Tee Morris
Promo
Next month PG Holyfield is in the kitchen.
Posted by admin on March 6th, 2010 filed in The Stories2 Comments »
Success for a chef
Erotica a la carte was always meant to be an experiment- a way for the chef to learn how to cook something saucy. Since we opened the doors at the cafe of naughtiness, I’ve discovered how truly challenging and fun it is. We made the short list for the Parsecs and our diners have expressed their enjoyment time and time again. (I know of one who goes to sleep listening to our tales– must make for interesting dreams!)
When I first got guest chefs involved it was a nifty way for me not to get burned out on preparing spicy offerings–too be able to take a breather and keep the doors open. That too has changed. I am excited and impressed and happy to have people in the kitchen. As with many things, sharing has only improved the experience for me.
So this news from J Daniel Sawyer made me as pleased as punch. I couldn’t stop grinning, and I just had to share this with you, our fine diners.
You are bound to recall Dan’s sexy, dark and beautiful story Buried Alive in the Blues- hard to forget with its gritty look at a woman with nothing to lose at the end of the world, and what she finds there. Well, Dan recently announced he has sold this wonderful tale to Circlet Press for their upcoming anthology Apocalypse Sex.
All the work and achievement is Dan’s, but the chef is very proud that Buried Alive in the Blues was first heard in this kitchen. Congratulations Dan- it’s a beautiful story, and deserving of as much exposure as possible.
We have a full list of new chefs coming to the kitchen and I just know you are going to love what they bring to the table.
Posted by admin on February 6th, 2010 filed in NewsComment now »
Tears Such as Angels Weep
A lonely hunter carrying more than his fair share of strange secrets, finds more than he bargained for in the wilderness.
By Chris Lester with voice work by Kimi Alexandre
Promo
Next month Starla Huchton is in the kitchen.
3 Comments »
And to all a good night
A special dish from the Chef- a tale of space travel, sex and love. A lonely pilot comes back from the dark to find not all presents under the tree have ribbons on them.
Music supplied by the delightful and talented Starla Huchton of the Dreamer’s Thread novel. Go support her.
To all the saucy listeners out there; thank you so much for your support, comments and ears this year. 2010 is going to be quite an adventure- and we have a delicous platter of fine writers coming up for the first half the year. I will also be collating past stories for both a high quality CD version and a print version.
But for now, have a Merry Christmas and I will see you in the New Year. May you find one you love and share the joy of intimacy with them over the holidays.
Love
Your Chef
3 Comments »
Pay the Gatekeeper
In every town there are people with jobs no one else wants. The Gatekeeper is one of those in Hyde, but Lila finds ways to make it more than a little exciting.
Promos
Next month the story will be from the delightful Chris Lester who will be writing Supernatural/Lonely corner of earth/Dominance and submission
1 Comment »
A Mess in the Kitchen
Please bear with the staff at Erotica a la Carte (Ok, that is just me) but the cafe will be shut for the month of November. The plates got a little piled up, one or two glasses might have been broken, and there maybe a mess to clean up on the floor.
However to make up for this, December will be not just one, but two new dishes. The short story based on the image you all selected from the menu, called Behold the Gatekeeper, as well as a juicy morsel for Christmas. This will be a chef’s special.
So again, apologies for the mess, but there will be plenty to enjoy next month! And keep your ears peeled for the next round of guest chefs- starting with the Saucy Chris Lester of Metamor City. He will be presenting Supernatural/Lonely corner of earth/Dominance and submission to start the New Year off right.
I never expected the EalC cafe to be so popular. It’s been going a year, and no sign of stopping. I have ideas for a print version where we can raise some money for prostate cancer and breast cancer. That will be one task for the chef in 2010. Thanks for hanging in there, and supporting these fun stories from the edge of speculative fiction.
Posted by admin on November 19th, 2009 filed in News5 Comments »
Loves to the be Loved
In the hedonistic world of New York in the late 70s, four succubi go looking for the next meal. One of them however finds quite a new taste.
Promos
Next month the story will be based on the following image.
3 Comments »
The Happy Farm
Rose is different- the aliens mind control doesn’t work on her. She is forced to watch as the Bath’il harvest her fellow humans, but when her sister is taken she must venture into the Factory.
Next month Succubi in the City
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The Thirsty Earth
Under the temple of the earth god, a vampire is chained and used for blood rituals. Yet eventually even the most careful human makes a mistake, and that’s all she needs.
Voice work by Tee Morris
Promos
Next month Future/ average person/ destruction of the world
4 Comments »
Dreams of Steam and Sparks
Past and future collide in a inventors laboratory. Steam and sparks ensue.
Voice work by Tee Morris and Dan Sawyer
Promos
Next month trapped in slavery/female/vampires
1 Comment »
Little Mysteries
A woman returns to her high school and finds a sweet mystery waiting for her
By Justin Macumber
Next month our regular chef Philippa Ballantine is back in the kitchen to write a story based on this image.
1 Comment »
Release me
In an alternative America a superhero has a lesson in control.
By Tee Morris
Promos
Next month- Justin Macumber of Dead Robots Society will be writing Female POV/High School Reunion/Mystery
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